all things great and small

One of the things I am enjoying most about my personal take on this practice is finding joy in some pretty unexpected places.  Using gratitude to direct my meditation is helping me appreciate so much more in my life.  There have been some bigger things, where you would expect someone to feel grateful (grandpa's health taking a good turn) ... but there have also been silly little ones that just improve the day ("hey, they're serving the french toast flavored coffee!").  

Finding the joy in these little life moments as well as in the big obvious ones is kind of the point of my project, anyway.  Complaining and giving in to negative energy is the easy way out.  Looking for the proverbial silver lining takes time and thought and dedication.  Leafing through the notebook I'm using to help me keep track, there are obvious trends; I can clearly see which days were easier to feel the gratitude and which days I grasped at straws to find something to appreciate. 

It's also interesting to note that this effort, to spend time every day focusing on the good, is making me take stock of my relationships.  Being grateful for a favorite flavor of coffee doesn't make sense to everyone.  Though I'm only sharing this project with a few people, I'm quietly considering my interaction with others, and which people in my life may be "toxic" to my thankful attitude.  There are a few I encounter on a fairly regular basis who are a drain on the positive energy I'm trying to cultivate... and in the last week or so, I've begun to put some distance between us. 

And maybe that's the point:  the meditation is quieting my inner noise and making me more mindful of the rest of my life. 

finding vs. making time

In my first post, I mentioned that time seems to fly.  Making meditation a regular act, then, poses a special challenge.  It's a kind of irony in action, that carving out time to slow down my daily pace and "do nothing" takes effort!

That's exactly what it has become:  a conscious effort.  I'm hoping it will become more of a second nature type of act, but I'm not there yet.  I have had to remind myself every day to spend five or ten minutes alone with my thoughts... once or twice, even to the point of getting up out of bed at the end of the night because I'd forgotten it for that day. 

But it's getting easier, and here's my little secret:  I figured out a "cheat" tactic that helps me.  I bought a pretty, purse-sized notebook, and have been jotting down little notes to self as I think of them during the day.  Then, at the end of the day, I've got a starting point for the evening's meditation.  

It's going well, so far.  It's been two weeks since my last journal entry, and while I wouldn't say that the meditation has become a habit yet, I'm definitely well on the way.  It's nice to see that my hoped-for result of living a kinder, gentler life is within reach!